[ Personal Anathema ]

In an effort to have material for my blog without research.. I have decided to observe my own personal anathema.




Anathema, n. ; one who is separated, damned, cursed and reviled.
Personal, adj. ; of relating to, or affecting a person, private.

Everyday I wake up, I play the role of the pope and damn another person. I am convictious. I damn the same person everyday. His soul will burn for the sins he has committed. His thoughts must be purged, for they are dirty and sinister. His actions must be contained, and his voice must be silenced. I am he, and he is I. I damn myself for who I am; what I do, how I think, my actions, my voice, my mind. I play remorseful convict. Pray to the judge of sorrow, and promise of things I will never do. I bear false witness, I lie to people's faces. I see it in their eyes. They trust me and I trust them. I betray them. I look in their eyes and yield to evil. So much easier. But the retribution that follows is like a hornet of bees. It hurts me, but kills the bee. I am impatient. I possess no virtue. I stand and listen to those I love, but I'm thinking of other things. I change the subject, not caring what the topic. I turn to myself and talk of him. Even though I despise him. It is not a boast, for there is nothing to show, nothing special. I do it anyway. I ponder upon the things I say. They hold no merit, they are untrue, and lies. I talk of others. If you cannot say something nice, with-hold your freedom of speech. I do not follow heed and hurt listeners. I rephrase it in my mind. And ridicule myself. I damn myself. My emotions run free. And I get hurt again, or the first. Or perhaps its the last. I never learn. I do not even try. I separate my mind from my emotions. I become bland and useless; like cake without sugar. I do so anyway. Separate mind from emotion. Logic and reason, no time for sentiments. Personality is made up of emotion. Mine is jagged and broken. I damn myself with reason. My personality is my curse. I separate my mind. I judge, I sin. My personal anathema.

Mrah'Sponagi
You think you are reading something insightful and meaningful... but no. It's not.