[ I cannot take the heat ]

Sad.
======

I cannot take the heat.
It burns me to the core.
I feel it takes more and more effort just to do the things it was once second nature.
Is it the growing numbness that I feel inside?
The insensitivity I show on the outside....
I want to cry all day, and fall asleep tired.

I wake up in the morning and everything grey.
Not even shades, no, not for me.
What does it matter that I can't take the pain.
It feels like, my insides are on the fry.
The game goes on, people win, people lose.
But in the end, we will all die.

I don't understand why I do the things I do.
I mask it all under a mask of death.
Staring at myself in the mirror.
I see someone staring back at me that just isn't who I thought I would be.
I see a person staring back, one abused, convicted against a crime that was committed.
Guilty treason leaks through my veins.
I can't help myself, but take the blame.

It's all too much to take in.
The feelings are like a kingtide in the afternoon.
Or perhaps like a yearly monsoon.

I'm exagerating and flustering, minors to all others.

I look inside and see a cold fast beat.
But in the end, I can't take the heat.

-Mrah'Sponagi